This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
