At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
