i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
