Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
