do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We are two peas in an std pod
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
