Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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