I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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