weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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