It's like God shit irony all over that family
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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