His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
