Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Less talking, more tequila
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
