First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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