i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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