I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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