she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I could fuck to npr.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
