I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
