and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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