Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize