I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
