the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
