It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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