And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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