My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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