but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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