im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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