i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
