i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
