From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
