I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
