My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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