well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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