How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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