You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
