you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
