Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Your cock deserves a montage
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad