his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.