thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.