remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain