Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...

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  (970): i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it... http://tfl.nu/aspw
  Replies (4) Good night (553) Bad night (2822)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts

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  (937): there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts http://tfl.nu/ju9y
  Replies (28) Good night (5330) Bad night (554)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me

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  (225): at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me http://tfl.nu/xox1
  Replies (23) Good night (757) Bad night (5969)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....

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  (269): i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn.... http://tfl.nu/s1xw
  Replies (20) Good night (681) Bad night (5310)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Colt 45 out of anything is classy.

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  (704): I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy. (919): Colt 45 out of anything is classy. http://tfl.nu/9zxf
  Replies (17) Good night (4537) Bad night (851)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children

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  (303): My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children http://tfl.nu/bm0p
  Replies (17) Good night (2927) Bad night (896)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.

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  (706): We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust. http://tfl.nu/qt9y
  Replies (6) Good night (2685) Bad night (917)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...

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  (613): The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music... http://tfl.nu/dqnk
  Replies (7) Good night (2697) Bad night (732)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you

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  (541): they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you http://tfl.nu/813g
  Replies (23) Good night (4363) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.

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  (678): Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS. http://tfl.nu/1c5m
  Replies (3) Good night (853) Bad night (484)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence

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  (240): i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence http://tfl.nu/n478
  Replies (2) Good night (1331) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.

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  (352): a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window. http://tfl.nu/ast5
  Replies (10) Good night (1317) Bad night (294)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.

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  (989): You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone. http://tfl.nu/tu9y
  Replies (0) Good night (410) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.

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  (303): Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/mon2
  Replies (7) Good night (615) Bad night (311)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.

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  (406): Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild. http://tfl.nu/8j4i
  Replies (1) Good night (253) Bad night (357)

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