Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?