oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize