dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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