no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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