If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
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Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
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I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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