Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You took a bar mat shot.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
