youre lurking in front of me
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
