I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
