i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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