he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
