I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
