he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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