32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
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She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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