i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
