I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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