I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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