no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
