I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i dont even know how to be here
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
