who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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