Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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