would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
