I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
