did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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