Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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