you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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