He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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