somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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