Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
