white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
